an open letter to sting
Dear Sting,
Congratulations on your upcoming Grammy appearance as part of the reunion of The Police. I'm happy to hear that the three of you will be able to put aside jealousy, bitterness and years of built up resentment in the name of money the high art of pop music.
But as someone who grew up on The Police (and then after the initial benefit-of-the-doubt blue turtles thing proceeded to not only lose all respect for you but come to actively dislike your entire being -- so much so that hearing your voice when shuffling upon great tracks like No Time This Time makes me reach for the "next" button), would you mind heeding just a few pieces of advice?
- Get the hell out of the way and let them play. Look, even in the eighties you were a camera hog. We know you're beautiful, we know you do tantric sex things and we're entirely too familiar with the shape of your neckline. But this isn't about you, so get the hell out of the way and let the world see the other two guys. Kids need to see what a real drummer looks like, and even though you're the self-appointed genius of the crew, you know deep inside it was Andy Summers who gave the band its texture. Give the men some camera time.
- Skip the drama. Please don't do that thing where it's just you on stage where the audience goes "oh, look at that handsome Englishman doing the nice ballad version of that song that used to be on the radio all the time" and then bring the lights up on the rest of the band and start rocking out. Please.
- Don't talk. We know you care about the Brazilian rain forest and global warming and feeding the children, so shut up already. We'd rather hear you sing about hookers.
- No extra musicians, no backup singers. I know you're not afraid of extra musicians, and I know the Grammy producers will want to "fill out the sound." Don't. In case you've forgotten (and something tells me you have), The Police were all about making the most out of the least. One bass, one guitar, one drummer.
This Grammy performance is certainly an advertisement for your rumored summer reunion tour. If you have any shred of respectability left, you'll turn this into a real Police show, and not a solo show with some old mates backing you up. I don't have a lot of hope, but hey -- a boy can dream, right?
Best,
Michael
Comments
Exactly. Keep it simple so I can enjoy my flashback.
Thank you for this. I <3 Stewart Copeland.
Sting's voice these days is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
I know, I'm a lesser person because of it. But I'm okay with that.
In fact, for my money, we could skip Sting altogether and recruit someone like Watt on bass and have Eddie Murphy sing.
What a great way to sum them up.
I love Stewart 'n' everything, but c'mon - so you scored the winning touchdown back in the day. Give us a chance to forget about it once in a while so that you can actually remind us about it instead of never letting us forget about it.
And while they're giving Andy some spotlight time, why don't they play "Friends" or "Mother" on the Grammys™? I'd loved to see either one of them done acoustically.
As much as I respect him and his desire to try new things, he's been spiraling down the trail of irrelevance with songs like "Lithium Sunset" and lines like "We only stopped for a few burritos, but they told us of the trouble with los banditos" for years. This post sums it up beautifully. I'm very excited/nervous for this reunion. I'd love nothing more than to see one of my all-time favorite bands tear it up as a three piece again. But I fear that's just not gonna happen.
The Police most definitely were a three piece band! Yes they used other players on stage during the later years but it's far from "historically inaccurate" to say they were a three piece band at the heart (and at their best). And if anyone needs a reminder just how far gone Sting is these days, I only have two words: lute music.
Bring em on. Even if they only practiced once before they go out there, they're better than an opening of Beyonce or something...
eh?
Kind of like Wire when they reunited a few years ago.
/me sighs.....
I wasn't speaking literally as if there was a single "day" when they all shared that same status but more of a continuous string of days of my youth during which I craved new music that could never be served by Casey Kasem's Top 40. Music that no one I knew had ever heard. Music that didn't suck.
The Police, R.E.M. and INXS were just examples of some of those that I came across early on by hanging out poring over the alternative and import sections at a local record shop. Those who later went onto commercial success and inevitably egotistical suckitude. Depeche Mode, Pet Shop Boys, the Violent Femmes, the Cure, Duran Duran, U2, and a lot more fall into that same class.
Add to that other favorites of the minute: The Smiths, Psychedelic Furs, Alphaville, Icicle Works, Camouflage, Echo & the Bunnymen, A Flock of Seagulls, Joy Division, The English Beat, the Housemartins, Yaz, The Fixx, Modern English, The Squeeze, O.M.D., Madness, The Clash, Joy Division, the Dead Kennedys, the Circle Jerks, Elvis Costello, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Social Distortion, Robyn Hitchcock, Black Flag, Bauhaus, Icehouse.
So there you go. Those are just some of the names I can recall from the period that shaped in large part my life's music tastes. And now I'm wishing I hadn't dumped my whole casette tape and LP collection...
Michael, my friend... I have bad news for you in advance. Maybe Puffy will show up and they can back him doing a Biggie Smalls tribute!
I was thinking the most obvious song for them to play at the Grammys is "Don't Stand So Close To Me."
As long as Sting leaves the f***ing Lute at home, it should be entertaining.
Has anyone else heard the rumours of a reunion tour?? I must say, I'm conflicted. I saw the Police on their final tour, then Sting on the Blue Turtles tour. I would love to see the original Police, but I'm afraid those days are long behind us...
Tell us what you really think? I watched the grammies and I could not believe how good Sting looked, sounded, etc.. I am not sure the other two can keep up with his energy, intensity, etc.. (coming from someone who thinks that Paul was the Beatles :)).
Doug
doug, you are an embarrassment. no offence.